Gnome Houses of Gabriola Island, British Columbia

A boom crop of smoke-pipes raises Gabriola’s gnome farmer community’s hopes for rapid post-Covid economic recovery

Strolling the forest paths of Gabriola Island to fill time while awaiting the proofs of my new book Unamakik, Land of Fog, I decided to visit the island’s settlement of prosperous gnomes widely known for raising a cash crop of smoke-pipes acknowledged to be of unequalled quality, exported to gnomes all over British Columbia.

Although gnomes have been certified by the province’s health authority to be immune for the Covid 19 virus, they have, just to be sure, posted a canine guard at the entry to their settlement to screen unannounced visitors.

The guard, upon noticing the regulation face mask I was wearing, stepped politely aside, barking a cheerful welcome.

I walked past several tastefully decorated front doors of well-to-do gnomes, some with inspirational quotes of gnome wisdom posted in swirling gnome writing over the door to their dwellings, failing to find anyone home, concluding they were all out tending crops in the woods.

Except for the youngest of gnome children heard singing jolly pipe harvest songs in the settlement’s daycare center behind a, firmly closed, door of colorful popsicle-sticks.

NOTE! The illustration at the head of this news article was kindly provided by the Gabe Island Gnome Farmers’ Association. It shows the quality of island grown smoke-pipes after the gnomes have applied just before harvesting their secret finishing-technique to eliminate all unsightly green traces of chlorophyll in order to give Gabriola-grown smoke-pipes their trademark ‘ghostly’ appearance.